''Lise is a million tiny fireworks of stupidity...'' - Cheers for that quote. Really flatten... I mean flattering. 

''I have to come to terms with the fact that I am not equipped to eat muffins. Its as simple as that. I dont like it, but there it is.''  - Lise

''I am currently ranting, raving and blogging like a loony and I dont care. Its the privilege of the insane.'' - Lise

''I have occasional bouts of deafness, thanks to Menieres Disease... if only it was accompanied by occasional bouts of shut-uppy-ness too, the world would be a quieter place, and you'd all be much happier I'm sure. Sadly for you, thats not gonna happen.'' - Lise

''A very kind gentleman recently said to me - ''Welcome to the planet, we've been waiting for you'' - I'll admit that its been a long hard struggle to get here, but i think I'm going to like it.'' - Lise

''I'm still getting used to things living in Northern America... its taking me a while... i have NO idea what some things are. What the hell is 'Homo Milk' ????
Cos to be honest with you, where I come from... its something COMPLETELY different... and we cant buy it at Safeway.'' - Lise

''I am an over-excited, gibbering wreck of an idiot... some people have started to ask me '' but what are you REALLY like though?'' - well, I'm really like THIS. This is all I am ... imagine if Ozzy Osbourne and Julie Walters had a lovechild? Thats me. Sad isnt it? Just imagine a bumbling, confused idiot with messy hair, tattoo's and a Midlands accent... youre almost there.'' - Lise

"Lise uses this site to spout garbage when she's not having some kind of mental breakdown. We can only hope and pray that someday she gets her act together, pisses off and leaves us all in peace!"  - Lise

''The wonderful people at Youniverse describe me as having 'a brilliantly sharp wit', its all a front, I'm really just a gibbering wreck who stumbles from one disaster to the next, finding it rather amusing that I'm actually still alive. But for kind words, I am eternally grateful.'' - Lise